Thursday, April 29, 2010

Divorce these days

 I just can't believe it!

To think that 7 of my friends that I graduate High School with, have gotten a divorce.

My belief is that when you say your vows and sign that marriage contract, the two of you are in it for life. Through thick and thin, good and bad....all the way to 'till death do us part.' 

I read that the divorce rate in our country is 51% {WHAT?}
Why are people getting married if they aren't sure it will last and they aren't willing to 'take on another job'. Marriage is like a job, you have to work at it daily!
(I do realize that there can be those once an awhile occasions when serious things happen)

When you marry someone, most people, do it because they are in love and want to spend the rest of their life with their partner. I don't believe that all that just goes away. It DOES take work and commitment, but the love was there to begin with, so there is no doubt in my mind, it can be there again, if you just work at it.

Marriage does not come easy. There ARE ups and downs, there are hard times, but if there is trust and love, it will work.
I understand that one person in the marriage can decide that the marriage is over, leaving the other person with little fighting power. There are times that I do agree with divorce. I believe {trust} is the number one thing in a relationship/marriage. If there is no trust, you shouldn't be getting married. If trust is lost in a marriage, due to being unfaithful, I believe that your marriage contract and vows have been broken.

Divorce is sad itself, but when it hits home and it starts happening to your friends, it is painful to watch your friends go through. 
There are ways around divorce, counseling is one of them. I'd have to say that if my marriage ever got to that point (and I pray it never does) I would do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in my power to fight for it. Not only for me, but my kids also.

I have been talking to a lot of friends, that are going through this and I really wish I could help, but I can't. It isn't my 'boat' to jump in, to try and keep it a float. If they got married for the wrong reasons, or weren't 100% sure they wanted to be with their partner FOREVER, they shouldn't have gotten married. 

Marriage isn't just something you do. (some people just think after a long relationship, you get married.) NOT TRUE! You get married out of love and trust for someone that you want to be with 'till death till you part.'

With all that being said.
I am sorry to all my friends that have to ever go through divorce!
 {Brian...I love you to the moon and back!}

(this is all my opinion and my statistics are found on the web)


MamaBear said...

Wow Kelly! That's A LOT! Out of my class of 66 the first to get married has been the only one to get divorced to my knowledge. Good for you for listening without getting involved - it's a tough spot to be in (I've been there and lost a friend because of it).

I love the song lyrics that say "love isn't something that you have, it's something that you DO"

The Wohlleb Family said...

It is crazy! We have friends that are going through one right now. I don’t agree with the way they are going about it-they have 2 kids. I just bite my tongue and pray that all of our hard work makes our marriage a success.

Candice said...

Well said!!

Meant to be a mom said...

I agree. Its sad and true.:(

Molly said...

It is soo very sad. There are several of my friends that are still in their 20s and are divorced. I can't even imagine the pain for them and especially the kids.

Jessica said...

Amen sister!

And yes, I have to swaddle Averly with her arms out. She will not let me do with them in & I do get them in she pulls them right out. Riley was the same way. So we swaddled both of them this way from birth. Stubborn little boogers! :) she sleeps great like that but I just feel like her little hands get cold sometimes :(

Erin said...

Right there with you. I will fight for my married for forever! There are a few things that would make me leave my husband but I don't think and I sure hope that it will never get there!

Like you said, it is work, another job :)

I sure hope you and brian never get to that point :) I love you as a couple and as a family and parents!!

Anonymous said...

It is sad to think how easy people give up. And how lightly people take marriage. Being a Christian not only did I make a commitment to my husband Christian, but even more importantly to God. I take that very seriously!! Not to mention being a child of divorce seeing what it has done in my own family and even how it still effects me as an adult is really sad...I completely agree with your post! Kudo's!!

Laura said...

I agree totally!! We are experiencing our first friends going through a divorce right now and it is so hard. I feel so bad for them and my heart just hurts for their little girl who now only gets to see each one half of the week. It really is a sad thing to watch.

Unknown said...

It is very sad. I have somebody very very close to me who just finalized divorce. It's not good.

I also just read something that I thought I was great.

"...high divorce rates in our society are not so much a sign that these couples have more seriuos problems than others but that they simply do not keep their word." Fr Fulton Sheen.

How true is that?

Blessings to you and your marriage!

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