Friday, May 4, 2012

Patience for Parenting...Please

With a 6, 4, 2 your old and 6 week old, it is key to have a good discipline plan.
I have tried everything...
A magnet chart with different things whining, clean your room, no talking back, put away your dishes...etc. Well, that failed! The kids like it for about 2 days and loved putting their magnets on, but then they started to not listen again.

I have tried a tally chart, with each of my kids names on the top and tally marks under for good behavior and listening. The kids would earn tally marks for doing things they were asked and listening the first time they were asked. Tally marks could be taken away for not listening and bad behavior. When they got 20 tally marks, they got to pick a place to go out to eat or a prize.

I have tried a 'naughty' and 'nice' box. Each box had many different slips in them with things I wrote on them. For example:
Slips in the 'nice' bin said...
"Extra TV show before bed"
"Cook with mommy"
"Play a video game with daddy"

Slips in the 'naughty' bin said...
"Lose your night time TV show"
"Have a favorite toy taken away for that day"
"Do an extra chore"

If the kids did something nice or good that day, they get to pick a slip from the 'nice' box. If the kids did something naughty, disrespectful or mean, they had to pick from the 'naughty' box. This technique failed a lot faster than it took me to think of it.

I have also tried taking time outs on the stairs. Starting on the 4th stair up and moving down every minute, if they sit nicely and don't talk rude, they get the last minute off timeout. This shows the kids how much time they have left on time out and is supposed to reward them for sitting nicely and not talking. My kids didn't do very well with this technique and it too, failed quickly.

Now we have moved on to marble jars. I have a huge bin of marbles that get placed into the kids individual glass jars, when they do things I ask them to do the first time, when they are helpful, and when they are extra nice to their siblings. When they are not nice or a bad listener, they get marbles taken away. This way they get to see their progress. When the marble jars are filled, they get to pick a toy from the store. This technique is the one we are currently using and as long as I remember to reward them for the good little things they do, it works great. I do however make them take the marbles out of their jar, when they do something bad, so they can see that they are loosing marbles. When their jar is filled, they get to pick a prize or a place for us to go out to eat.

My kids are not to blame for some of these techniques not working. I don't always follow through and hold true to discipline and rewards. It gets hard and life gets busy!

My 6 and 4 year old are really resting my patience lately and I have tried everything to come up with something to get them to listen better, so I will yell at them less and they will want to listen.

Being a mom is one of the greatest gifts! I will be the first to tell you, it is not all 'cupcakes and frosting!' There are days I just want to pull my hair out and I ask this payback for me being a naughty kid when I was little?! I often actually feel bad for my mom having to raise my brothers and I as kids.We definitely weren't easy, by any means.

Life is tough and it is our job to teach our children how to get through life the best they can. That isn't an easy job and it has its ups and downs, but I will also be the first to tell you that the good does outweigh the bad and there is nothing more satisfying than seeing your children learn, grow and be happy. Their smiles will always melt my heart.

Discipline is just another part of parenting and whether I have the right techniques or not, doesn't really matter, as long as my kids are getting the most out of life and striving to be the best they can!


Heather said...

We did marble jars for a long while. You're's work for the parents to remember putting marbles IN the jar. :) If I may make a suggestion...filling it up can take too long for kiddos. We moved to a 10 marble system (similar to the 20 tally marks) that started over each Sunday. They would start with 10 and if they had 7 or more on Saturday, they could choose a prize from the list. Our list was "dollar store trip, an outing with just mom or dad, frozen yogurt, etc." But I found they responded REALLY well to putting their own marbles into the jar when I noticed them being helpful or kind of obedient.
You're's the greatest calling in the world. :)

Anonymous said...

please tell me how in the world do you even have time to blog. my daughter has been testing me lately too, and I'm out of things to do to displine her.ive tried everything and nothing is working. Strong willed children my friend, strong willed! praying for you!

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