Tuesday, October 1, 2013

"He's your favorite"

Those are probably the most hurtful word to ever come out of my daughters mouth.

I decided to ask Abby who she thought was my favorite out off all the kids. 
{trick question in my mind}
But her answer hurt and still haunts me.

Me-"who do you think is my favorite kid?"
Abby- "Blake is mommy." {said with NO hesitation}

{OUCH! Those words hurt}

I know I spend A LOT of time with Blake, he is 18 months old, into everything and is a big mommy's boy. So lately he is attached to my hip.

I can totally see how she thinks this....all her mommy's time is being spent with her baby brother. I am usually the one holding Blake, since he prefers me. I am the one who stays home with Blake everyday. I usually put Blake down for nap and to bed at night. 

In her eyes...mommy does everything with Blake.

I don't ever want her thinking I love Blake more than her. I don't want her thinking I love any of her siblings more than another.

Me-"Abby, no, I love all my kids the exact same amount."
Abby-"Then why are you always with Blake and you don't ever get mad at him?"

{Words that weren't meant to hurt, but they did}

Me-"He is a baby, and doesn't know better yet. I have to explain to him that it is wrong. You usually know better, so mommy sometimes gets mad quicker and often yells."
Abby-"Oh, so when he gets older, then you can spend more time with us?"

{the dagger keeps getting shoved in further}

Me-"Yes, even though mommy does her best to spend equal time with all of you."

It is amazing how your little ones words can sink in so deep and sometimes hurt so much! I took this as more of an eye opening experience and I  am learning from my child that I need to be spending more one-on-one time with each of them. Words can hurt, but sometimes it is needed for reality to hit.


Mary said...

I am so sorry you had to hear that :( I worry about this with Hailey. Thankfully my dad will come stay with Jackson so I can take her to gymnastics by myself. She loves that and it's great to focus just on her. I worry about having more kids for that reason as well. I know it is all ok but it's been an adjustment in my relationship with Hailey since Jackson has been born.

You are an amazing mom! I'm sure Abby will feel better once she understands. :)

Kate @ Daffodils said...

Ouch! It is so hard to find the balance. Mine older ones get so annoyed at me now when I cant do things for them because I have to feed the baby. I try to spend one on one time with them when I can, but it is tough!

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