Tuesday, October 8, 2013

How talk talk to her

We've totally hit that stage.
The one where she's noticing everything about other girls and about herself.

"Why do I have blonde hair on my legs and other girls have dark hair?" 
"Why are some girls bigger than me?"
"Why do people in school call me skinny?"

Questions are constantly being brought up.
{I thought I had a couple more years before this}

How do I talk to her about her body?

My advice...I don't! I will not say anything unless questioned by her. 

Never say anything about her weight. If she is looking 'heavier' than usual, don't ever tell her that. If she is looking 'skinner' than normal, don't ever tell her that either. If she looks gorgeous, don't even tell her that.

 Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
Don't say anything about her body, only teach her how it works.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Teach her kindness and respect towards herself instead:

"You look happy today!"
"You are glowing."
"Your outfit is cute today."
"You look picture perfect." 

Also teach her kindness towards others...
Don't comment on other girls appearance either. Nothing mean or nice. If you comment on other girls and say that they look amazing or that you love something about their apperance, your daughter will pick up on that. She might try and change something about herself to get a different reaction from you.

I was talking about my diet the other day and didn't know little ears were listening. {Big NO NO!}
I said, "I am not eating as much bread and pasta, cause I don't like what it is doing to my body."
'Someone' didn't eat all their pasta the next night {and she loves pasta!}
There are ways to diet 'behind the scenes.' Buy healthy foods, make healthy meals and serve healthy snacks. Just don't mention anything about dieting or not eating as much because of your weight.

Show her example of exercise, tell her do play sports to meet new friends and to find a hobby that she likes, tell her to go for a run to get out some energy and encourage her to keep active. 
{without telling her that she needs to exercise}

Teach your daughter to be independent and self sufficient. Tell her she can do anything that she puts her mind to. Let her know that you support her always.


Caley-Jade Rosenberg said...

Wow! This is an amazing post (especially for mums of girls) and so important for us to know and learn. It is a big worry of mine in parenting a daughter - they are so sensitive to issues and so vulnerable to real life emotional bullying... Thank you for sharing x

Erin said...

she is picking up on all that stuff already.. yikes!!!! Alex has yet to ask a single thing like that!!! Great post :)

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