Monday, September 15, 2014

I'm sorry for the 'inconvience!'

Sometimes it feels as though having four kids can be an inconvenience on family and friends lives.

Right off the bat I want to state that I wouldn't change my life for anything! I love my kids more than life itself and have always wanted a BIG family! I love the chaos {most days} and I love seeing the bond between siblings {when they are getting along}!

I will be the first to tell you that finding a sitter to watch 4 kids can be tough...which in return limits your 'adult social life.' I knew when we decided to have our 4th that date nights would become rare and going out when even when we could find a babysitter would be spendy. We decided to have 4 kids and I wouldn't have it any other nights or not!

We were the first of our friends to have kids, so many of our friends have one child or just starting to try for their second. Most of them look at us, with four kids, like we are crazy. A lot of them joke about when they can expect number five to be here. {um...not happening} Most of their social lives have quite a bit more time than ours, since theirs isn't filled with sports and school activities.

Even trying to find time to hang out with friends and family can be quite challenging. I have always been one to be an organizer and planner. I love spending time with family and getting together with friends, which we don't do enough.
Unfortunately I am usually the one to call and try to make plans...whether it be with family or friends. I know our schedule is busy, and at times not everyone wants four kids tagging along to add to the chaos, but an invitation here and there would be nice. Not always having to be the 'planner.'

I know having four kids limits what we can do at times. For instance we can't just hop up and plan an impromptu night out for wine tasting or buy spur of the moment tickets to go watch a football game. We actually need some notice to call a babysitter. Sometimes I think that people think that means we don't want the offer or it is too much work to invite us.

In my mind, it should go both ways...if people wanted to hang out with us, and our four kids, then they would offer an invitation now and then...not just me always asking them. I will never think of my kids as an inconvenience or as being 'baggage.' They are a part of our family that we wanted. If spending time together at home or out, just as a family of six is our option, than we are going to make the most of it and have fun.

Sometimes I just get tired of being the planner, though I think it is in my blood.We'll always be here awaiting an invitation, but until then, family night it is!


"B" said...

I adore LARGE families and PRAY we are able to have at least four children perhaps five if we are super lucky! (Currently we have two daughters) that being said. We are the same in the same position except we are the last to have children so our kids are babies and theirs all grown. They are now going out alot and jetting here adn there. I dont want to leave my kiddos, one is nursing and the other is in school all day every day (while I am at work). So we never get invited or if we say no once it never happens unless I call and schedule something. People are HARD;) Your family is precious!

m&msmommy said...

I completely understand where you are coming from, and we "only" have 3! :) Finding a sitter is definitely tough, and makes doing anything not family related pretty difficult, but like you said, this is what we chose so it is, what it is! :) One day, they'll all be older, doing their own thing, not needing us to drive them to dance, soccer, etc. and we'll miss these days, I'm sure of it! And I agree....for now, family nights it is! :)

katie_shannon said...

I so understand, we have 3 of our "own" & 2 we foster, it's a real work to try to ever get out.

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

I completely understand. My mom and dad are always willing to watch them, but I hate relying on them all the time. And when we do go out, I feel like we have to rush home. It's hard, but I figure we'll have plenty of time together soon enough!

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